Looking for Gold or Decent?

” Being cheated on, severely mistreated, and abused has turned me into a larger prude, a snob, and I’m assuming a gold digger. Maybe years of doing extremely unbalanced and asymmetrical emotional labour took its toll and I have this permanent compassion fatigue going on? Where I see now: saying addiction is just another illness or mental illness is no different than physical illness as being naive. Or making my anti-capitalist values known and saying I don’t care what my SO does as long as we care about each other and defending their lack of ambition to family as short sighted and childish as there can sometimes be a connection between some fields of work and a person’s personality and values/lifestyle. Now, I see anyone’s potential interest me in as a threat to my well being and don’t want them anywhere near me. Any history of addiction of mental health issues or addiction doesn’t yield sympathy from me, or having me wanting to help/make a difference. & Indications of money problems or being under employed turn me off. I’m at the point where I don’t think anyone will ever be good enough for me or good enough to me, and question if having standards or rules is somehow unfair.
Is this that what being jaded looks like? Or a ticking biological clock, where I don’t want to be with anyone who’s looking for someone to save them, or that I might just actually want someone I can build a future with?” – Jaded

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