The Fib-Bit: For Measuring Self-Delusion in St. John’s

The Convention Center won’t look like that when it’s finished; This is probably a good time to shoot up to Costco; Women Love it ...

Seeing that our low margin, boom and bust commodity-based economy is in the long nadir or deep, lightless trench phase of the cycle, we here at Newfoundland Eddicorp are pursuing opportunities in our little knowledge-based economy.  And where better to begin that adventure than right here at home, with self-knowledge.

We’ve developed the Fib-bit, a wearable device that records the quotidian self-delusion of the client.  At the end of the day users simply upload the collected data, review the lies they’ve told themselves since waking, and then take steps to, in the future, better face the facts.

Early results from trials here in town are encouraging.  What follows is a recent sample of some of the auto-misinformation collected from twenty three randomly selected St. John’s men and women, ranging in age from 18 to 67, 19 times out of 20

  • Frank will grow as a human being and then we can seriously consider marriage
  • Eventually Rabbittown will be gentrified
  • Soon it will be spring
  • No one on the current city council is so blind they’d even consider running again
  • No strings attached
  • It’s social drinking if you are messaging
  • I’m sure it’s nothing
  • Shoulder season
  • The future price of oil
  • The bank has our best interest at heart
  • I needs a bigger truck
  • He’s from Toronto but he gets it
  • It’s pretty good hockey
  • Must be almost over
  • I’ll take this work home and finish it tonight
  • What’s on CBC?
  • The Liberals just cannot be as bad as the Tories were
  • It is such a great idea , I’m sure I’ll get the grant
  • This is probably a good time to shoot up to Costco
  • The Convention Center won’t look like that when it’s finished
  • Just for the one pint
  • Shag it, I’ll have one more
  • Sure she’s crazy but she’s not like “crazy” crazy
  • This is slimming
  • It’s not really stealing if it’s on the internet
  • Nobody is that stupid
  • Gonna start using public transit
  • There must be a reasonable bus route to work and back
  • Women love it
  • Bet they all think it was Brad who farted
  • If we behave as though things are as they used to be, things will return to being as they were

Most promising is that these results were judged experimentally sound, being reliably repeatable day after day after day.

The fib-bit comes with a lifetime warranty.

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