The Bull Horn (Selected Posts for May)

Your rants, confessions, and more

FAKER FAKER PANTS ON FIRE!

“Okay, I have my first confession for The Overcast: I am recently single. I have never online dated. It weirds me out, there’s something sterile or deliberate, or awkward, or unnatural about it. Anyway. I got lonely I guess, and I thought the best way to test the waters of online dating, and sort of check it out — like how it works and how men behave on there and stuff — was to create a fake profile. I didn’t use my real name, or even my real face (I used some photo off a Google search for ‘okay looking woman in her late 20s.’) Anyway, after a few scary online interactions (men are weird! please consult your lady friends on your choice in profile pics, for god’s sakes!), I started talking with this really, really amazing guy. A total babe, really funny, smart as a whip, and knows how to make a gal feel special. But here’s the thing. He’s started complimenting physical attributes of the fake face I TOTALLY FORGOT I had been using. He is all about those green eyes, but mine are brown, man, brown as dirt, and while you have a ‘thing for a woman in a bun,’ my hair is too short for that shit. Now what? I fear my winning personality has made him fall in love with a fake face and it’d be too weird to show him my real face, since he has taken to this one! He wants her now, not me. This is sooo weird!” – Oopsy Daiy

STRAIGHT GUY?

“I’m totally a lady loving straight man … so why do I take a peek at every man’s junk at the gym? See where I stack up? Curiosity? Am I abnormal!?” – Straight Guy at the Gym
IF YOU REALLY WANT TO KNOW WHAT WOMEN THINK OF YOU!

“Listen, jerk at Lottie’s in the red shoes. When I politely removed your arm from around me on the dancefloor, it was a kind way to say, ‘I think you’re mistaken about us connecting here, but no harm done.’ So your super rude comment about me not being your type anyway — on account of my ‘emo tats and weird friends’ was needlessly defensive. And your need to imply I was a prude for not letting you get handsy is aggressive and you should know it. It wasn’t about me ‘not being into normal guys without beards and earrings,’ it was about you being a creep. Your need to tell me — even though I was clearly not interested, and clearly finding you scary at this point — that most women ‘would let me dance with them and then some’ as if there was something wrong with me … it hasn’t sat well for days. So, since you were such a jerk, if you really want to know what women think of you: word is you’re a lousy screw and among the most boring dates on Plenty of Fish in this town. So, consider that, next time you think every woman wants you unless they’re a freak.” – Anon

HICKS!

“What the hell, St. John’s? The city couldn’t be making it easier to recycle, and yet there’s very few blue bags of recyclables on my street every recycling day. Stop being such hicks! RECYCLE!” – Recycler
I MUST MEET “THIS GUY –>”

“So I went to a movie and parked in the skywalk parking lot at the mall. As I was driving home I noticed a note on my windshield. My first thought was ‘Well f**k. Someone hit my f**king car.’ When I got home I checked the note and was pleasantly surprised. This note made my day. It reads ‘I appreciate the Cyndaquil, good job. From this guy –>. I have a stuffed Cyndaquil on the dashboard of my car. This note legit made my day. It has been the first thing to make me smile in days. I would really like to know who “this guy” is though xD.The fact that he noticed it and took the time to write the note is fantastic hahahah.” – Karen

Share your rants, confessions, & more @ theovercast.ca/bull-horn

More from TheOvercast

Borealis Music Prize Longlist 2017

The Borealis Music Prize is run by The Overcast and sponsored by...
Read More

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.