All November long we asked locals about their favourite everything in town. There were over 100 categories, and you’ll have to pick up the print issue next week to see who won what. For now, here some unexpected, funny answers to various questions

Best Tattoo Parlour in Town: Her Majesty’s Penitentiary

Best Place to Buy Furniture: The side of the road in Georgestown in spring during bulk garbage week.

Best Place to Get a Massage: My Bedroom, wink wink.

Best Place to Buy Hats and Accessories: The Metrobus. People are always leaving them behind.

Biggest Dreamboat in Town: The Regal Princess cruise ship. It’s massive.

Best Thing about Living in St. John’s: I just moved here, you people sleep with each other on a first date. Fine by me.

Best Thing about Living in St. John’s: The car shows at A&W in the Summer

The Worst Thing about Living Here: My husband’s married ex is still living here and trying to lure him into cheating with food and compliments.

The Worst Thing about Living Here: We are promiscuous, so, the women have slept with enough men to know for certain my penis is below average.

Best Reason to Go to Stavanger Drive: To practice having patience