“I was playing a show recently, drunk AF. I sharted, right there on stage. There was runny poo in my pants. I knew it, you just friggen know it. But what was I supposed to do, run off stage, run home, let people find out? I had to finish the set. It made matters worse back there. And I was paranoid AF because I had no way of knowing if it had come through my pants, so, I had no way of knowing if people would see a brown stain on my jeans when I made my great exit for ‘a smoke’ to spook off home and change. To date, I think I made it, but I guess I’ll never know if people knew and have been talking about it, and now I have a new reason to have stage fright.” – Unidentified Local Musician