“I’m bald and that should show you I am mature and have life experience (from an evolutionary standpoint, that’s exactly what baldness is meant to relay). I’m chubby and that means I value the sanctity of chips with Netflix as refuge from this dark world (From an evolutionary standpoint, jelly belly means I excel and hunting and gathering … albeit, from Marie’s Mini Mart). Don’t write me off, ladies!” – Mediocre Looking Biologist