“I found you on Tinder, Asshole! My friend saw you there and showed me. Happy 6 months to you, too. Men are such pricks. By the way: you kiss like a hummingbird lapping nectar and it’s gross! I’m not even going to break up with you. Figure it out yourself, or, RIGHT HERE, why I’ve deleted you from my phone and Facebook.” - Your Ex-Girlfriend
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