“I’d been dating this guy I really like, but, I’m not into beards. Too scratchy. I thought it’d be funny to shave off his beard as he slept. He woke up midway. He didn’t think so. He called me a crazy bitch knowing I hate that word, and then he called me a mean bitch and seemed really sad. Are men really that attached to their beards?” – Edwina Scissor Hands