A Brief List of Types of People No One Likes Anymore

Open letter of support for women in reaction to the Ghomeshi verdict

The cop who asks a rape victim if she’d been drinking has entirely missed the point.

Saying, “Oh you can’t take a joke,” implies that belittling women in the workplace is funny.

Web story commentators on rape trials who think 3 women are less reliable than 1 man.

People who comment on the way a woman was dressed before she was assaulted, but would never comment on the clothing choices of the cashier who was just robbed.

The man who can’t just order his beer or salmon without that look he’s giving the waitress. You’re not flattering her, you’re being cliché.

No one likes the boss who calls men assertive when they get emotional, but calls women emotional when they get assertive.

I shouldn’t have to explain why a rape joke isn’t funny. You should have to explain why it is.

Internet pornography has taught you to be a horrible lover who doesn’t really get the point of intimacy.

I used to be young enough to think I had to laugh along to keep my superior’s respect, and my job.

Generally speaking, catcalling triggers fear in a woman, not flattery. They don’t know you or your intentions, and a staggering number of women have been assaulted by people who felt entitled to their bodies and personal space.

I’m sorry you’re right there aren’t enough women appearing on the cover of this magazine.

It shouldn’t be easier and safer to laugh at your boss’s advances because you need the job to keep your kid in the nicer diapers.

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9 Comments

  • Chad, I’m sorry these new wave feminists consistently alienate male allies by telling them how to be a feminist. I am 48, 10 years ago, 20 years ago, no man would write a post like this, siding with women, and doing so with clear empathy. Nowadays, the kids are telling such a man he’s supporting them all wrong? You’re siding with women, you get the plight, you’re enlightening men who read this. THANK YOU.

  • I think this ie beautifully written, Chad. It doesn’t sound to me like you’re trying to take over the issue, but that you’re just as upset as the women in your life.

    So much of the time, the “I’m sorry” is left out as people react by brainstorming action plans, next steps, further taking away the victim’s control, and all the while thinking they’re helping. When these sorts of things happen, sometimes “I’m sorry” is the best thing to open with. It puts the ball back in their court, with you at their back.

  • I think you can do both….and I appreciate your attempt at solidarity…so much better than all the assholes who are pro Ghomeshi.

  • I can see that this comes from a good place, and that this is your way of trying to show solidarity.
    In times like these though, I think that in order to be an “ally” when in a position of privilege, there are a few things that you could be doing instead: listen to what survivors are saying, call out those that seek to deligitimize the experiences of survivors, and amplify the voices of people who are coming forward to share their stories (or make space for others to do so, seeing you have control over a platform like this).

    This is not your turn to take up space, and we already know how hard is to be us.

    There was a post today with some really helpful thoughts today on how to be an ally at this particular moment, and that I think are useful to consider:

    “Dudes: if there was a time for you to be an ally to women now is your time. If you want to vent your anger over the verdict – please consider directing it at other men who will be using “reasonable doubt” to say that women lie about assault.

    Please consider not using your women-folk friends as an echo chamber for your anger and opinions. We already know. We have been processing this for years, we have experienced this.

    If you want to make a difference in the world, please consider engaging with other men on these topics. If ever there was a time the time is now.”

    • The Man was found NOT GUILTY End of Story now you feminists can try to say “Oh asking a woman what she was doing is victim blaming” but that’s precisely the problem. Feminism wants to keep women victims. A woman after she is sexually assaulted does not go back to the alleged perpetrator.

    • In a position of Privilege? He is supporting the Feminist movement….What more do you want?? He took the time to write this article and you have the nerve to tell him he is in the position of Privilege??

  • Chad, I think your heart is in the right place, but the bit about being sorry women were bred by the world to assume The Overcast can’t put a woman on the cover without two men next to her is lame…. mostly because it’s a recurring thing with The Overcast. Nobody would make that assumption if it only happened once or twice, don’t you see that? I appreciate where you’re coming from with this but it comes across as a whole lot of mansplaining.

    • In hindsight, it was a hastily posted reaction to the Ghomeshi news, an attempt at a different way of covering the conversation, and your understanding of its intentions are appreciated.

    • Exactly. Like, it just seems kind of out of place, in an article that’s all about “women, I believe you about sexism” to put in a bit about how you’re probably reading too much into this thing I did and it’s not *really* sexism.

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