How to Waste Your Life on the Web, Part 4

Did you know there's an app for knowing when to take a pee break during a movie and miss nothing important? Did you know you can play theremin online?

Online Theremin
femurdesign.com/theremin

how to WasteThis site provides you with a touch-friendly audio synthesizer, where sounds are generated just as they would be on a real theremin, allowing you to kick out those authentic sci-fi jams.

A real theremin is not physically touched by the player. Instead, the area around the two metal antennae is manipulated to create the required sound. The site operates in a similar way.

Though the theremin was originally the product of Soviet-sponsored research into proximity sensors, the theremin is now mostly associated with avant-garde music and films like The Day The Earth Stood Still (1951) and Forbidden Planet (1956), which  linked the visual of UFOs and catwomen of the moon with the instrument’s eerie electronic trills.

“It’s the most famous oddball instrument,” says Andrew Staniland, assistant professor at Memorial’s School of Music and expert in electronic instruments, who is currently starting a new commission with The Brooklyn Art Song Society. “Through the 20th century, we’ve mass produced literally hundreds and thousands of new instruments like it, but have you ever heard of the electronic sackbut? The theremin, for whatever reason, has gained an amazing toehold. I mean, the Beach Boys used it.”

You Are Listening To
youarelistening.to

If you’re struggling to find the right mix of white noise and background blather to accompany you on your workday or cosmic journey, this site might provide the right “you got chocolate in my peanut butter” mix. Tune in (and tune out) to ambient music paired with police band chatter from international cities, from Montreal to Saint Petersburg, including St. John’s City Police & Fire. You can even eavesdrop on NASA or the air traffic controllers at LAX. It’s soothing, spacy, and totally unobtrusive. Perfect background noise.

RunPee
runpee.com

Say you’re watching the earthshakingly great Mad Max: Fury Road and you don’t want to miss an instant of the insanity, but you don’t want to miss out on partaking in a pre-movie 120 oz jug of beer at Fog City. Wouldn’t it be nice if you knew beforehand exactly which scenes you could duck out on, instead of risking missing a vital plot point or a deluxe action sequence? By checking RunPee before the lights go down, you’ll know when it’s your cue to hit the head. For example, RunPee lets you know that when you hear Max (Tom Hardy) ask, “What is this?” and the woman replies, “It’s mother’s milk,” you have exactly four minutes to make it to the bathroom and back. Alternatively, you can use the app to give you a quick buzz when it’s time to go. The RunPee app also tells you what happens during the break, so you don’t bug anybody upon your return. Glorious!

“The idea for the RunPee app came after watching Peter Jackson’s three hour long remake of King Kong,” says app developer Dan Florio, who watches the 150+ movies a year that are added to the database. “By the end of the movie, I needed to pee so bad I couldn’t enjoy the movie and just wanted it to be over.”

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