Who: Everyone ends up at Lottie’s sooner or later, or they should at least once a year.
What to drink: White Russians.
Wear: Bridal veil, sash, miniskirt, boots.
Why: Because Eye of the Tiger and staggering stags and stagettes breaking out moves last used on the junior prom dance floor is about as close to good clean fun as binge drinking in a dirty city gets (Fri-Sat all request DJs). Or cheap drinks any time to get pumped for your debut at Karaoke Kops across the street … or just an anonymous break from your regular scene. No cover, lover!
When the night ends: You were doing the Roger Rabbit…then you were home in bed. Suddenly. Magically. Like a fairy god-mother swept you off in her Jiffy Cab. You will awake back in your rags but glad, thinking, “nothing wrong with that!”
Vinyl Room, Basho, or Bar at Raymond’s
Who: Birthday girls, oil barons, anniversaries, lawyers in love.
What to drink: Classic and hand-crafted cocktails.
Wear: Occasion pieces, statement dresses, Prada loafers, cufflinks.
Why: See, be seen, fall in love.
When the night ends: You only have money left for cab fare OR cover, so you both head to The Ship. After the last dance to a great band, you skip the loitering smokers’ crowd, wrap up in your vintage furs and walk down to Harbourside Park to hold hands, makeout by the water, and generally make epic memories as the sun comes up through the narrows.
The Levee/CBTGs (aka “the deck”)
Who: Downtownies, h’artsy-fartsies, musicians, baristas, that dude who was always at Bar None.
What to drink: India, coke.
Wear: Denim, blundstones, sweaters, tank tops.
Why: Because the bathroom graffiti is the best. And because it is crowded, and pulsing, and you want to laugh and yell and smoke and have adventures with best friends you just met.
When the night ends: you are passed out on your stoop with a poutine pillow.
The Black Sheep, Georgestown Pub, Erin’s, The Duke
Who: regulars, writers, barflies, bikers, adjunct professors.
What to drink: Pints. Jamesons.
Why: Live a Tom Wait’s song. Set the world right with compatriots.
When the night ends: You are still on your barstool … barely.
Blue on Water, Grapevine, Martini Bar
Who: Men on the low end of the beard to hair-product spectrum. Your crush from the gym. POF roster.
What to drink: Wine, Coors light.
Wear: Black, aqua, or purple, and tight. Top buttons undone/high hemline. Youtube turtle make-overs.
Why: Get some skin. Moms’-night-out apps and winks. Just lookin’.
When the night ends: None of our business. Possible regret. Text messages starting with “Hey, hottie-bo-bottie…”