Deceitful and Defeated in Love

“I don’t know how to tell my boyfriend I physically cannot have children and I don’t want to tell him because I f*ucking adore him and that I found someone so ideal and super-amazing who happens to ‘want kids someday.’ I got selfish. I waited until it got serious to tell him I can’t bare children (too early and it woulda been a weird comment). Then, when it got serious, I wanted to give myself a month or two of tension-free perfection between us. Now we’re over a year deep, and making huge commitments, and it just feels too late to tell him without him feeling like I should have told him sooner that he’s settling down with a barren lady. It was his decision to stay with me anyway or leave, and I took that from him, and I feel horrible but at the same time, wouldn’t he be horrible to leave? Not really if kids are important to him? It’s horrible. Sharing it here kind of helps, weirdly.” – Barren-ness

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1 Comment

  • You need to be honest with him. He may be fine with it, and is open to the idea of adoption or surrogacy, but that won’t change the fact that you’ve kept an important piece of information from him for quite some time. What if it was the other way around, you were capable and willing to have children, but he couldn’t produce sperm and never told you. There will be backlash either way, but you’ll both benefit from the truth in the end, even if you don’t benefit together. No-one said the high road was the easy road!

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