“I drank way too much Saturday night, at a party, at an ex’s house, an ex’s party, and seeing him so happy with his new gf, I dunno, what happened, I dunno why I did it, I don’t know how it could have felt like revenge or spite or rage, but I … pin-pricked his condoms, knowing where he keeps them and all. I want to tell him, so no one gets accidentally pregnant, but I feel like too much of a freak to tell him!!! Hands down the weirdest thing I’ve ever done.” – Vodka Guzzling Psychopath