The Bull Horn: Rants, Confessions, and Missed Connections

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Steal for a Steal

“I often take the flyers and coupons out of my neighbours’ newspaper, because they never fetch the paper until supper time, so I have plenty of time to do so. They don’t seem the type to use coupons or bargain hunt, so, what odds? Phew, I feel better now that I’ve confessed this here! Now, to go nab some Nabob for a dollar off!” – Flyer Fan ’79

Boy-o @ POYO

“I went to open mic (randomly) at POYO a few weeks back. You were there and sweet Jesus you looked SO familiar. I took snapchats (sry bro.) and sent them to my friends, ‘who is this familiar dude with the voice of an angel?’ they read. But alas, I still don’t know. Maybe I’ve seen you at the gym? Maybe I’ve seen you at my place of work? People were shouting “Ian!!” and someone else said “Henry!!” You responded to both so I may never know your name. But damn, what a voice. What a voice.” – Mojo

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Run Sheilagh Run for Mayor of St. John’s, Please!

“We need an energetic, passionate, committed, classy Mayor for St. John’s; we need Sheilagh O’Leary as Mayor for 2017-2021…Don’t you agree? Yes, well let’s enlist Sheilagh as the best mayoral candidate in the coming municipal election!

Want more info:
See Fb Group – Run Sheilagh Run for MAYOR of St. John’s” – Geoff Chaulk

Shaken Up After Cat Calling

“A random man made a lewd comment straight to my face about my boobs last night. I called him out for being gross, but I don’t feel any better about it. I even called out his friend, who defended his comment and said ‘well, it could have gone two ways.’ What is wrong with some people? If you open your mouth to say something rude, say ‘you look nice’ instead.” – Girl on Deck

I like the 3rd Mayoral Candidate, but …

“Sharpe is an amazing force in our community. But can she explain to you right now about zoning laws and Robert’s Rules for chairing a meeting? Who in city staff does what? She’s not ready to run a city, let alone a council meeting. No one hires a CEO out of the gates, they have to work their way up to the top. Sadly, all she’s going to do is strip away votes for NOT ANY WELLS by downtown hipster kids that would have otherwise gone to Danny Breen, thereby helping Andy Wells become mayor by splitting the NOT ANDY WELLS vote.” – Sorry to Say It 

Come Back

“Goodlife Torbay Bodypump. Girl drinking Starbucks in weekend classes. When you coming back?” – Sunfrog

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Show them you love them.

“She’s the first thing on my mind when I wake up and the last before I fall asleep at night. She swept me off my feet, I get the fuzz just thinking about her. If I held her any higher she’d need a space suit. I love her with all my heart and I let her go. I may never get a second chance to show her how much she means to me, or how much I appreciate her. Maybe I don’t deserve it, but it’s worth every effort I could make. I have my patience and I’m making due. Show them how much they’re loved. Express it so they never have a doubt.” – Mike

Conditioning in Fat Cats Sucks

“Conditioning sucks. Cat hears me open cutlery tray. Cat thinks it means she’s getting fed. Cat goes nuts purring and begging and rubbing against me. Can’t say no to cat. Cat gets food every time I make a meal or a tea or a snack that requires me opening cutlery tray. Cat’s so fat its belly mops a line in the floor as it walks.” – Overfeederer

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

“Don’t yell at your kids in a grocery store, to the point that all the other customers are giving each other uneasy looks. Don’t yell at your kids. I know you were probably frazzled or harried or just too damn warm, but don’t yell at your kids! Parenting is easy. I don’t understand why so many find it so difficult. Respect your kids. They’ll respect you. Period.” – Nicole

Who is This Ace my Husband is Looking For?

“Hello. Have you seen my husband? 5 foot 6, a brunette and blanket hog and a bit of a gambling addict to tell you the truth. He said something about chasing an Ace, and flew out the door with a coat in hand before I could ask him who this Ace was. He seemed to imply if he didn’t go and find this “Ace” fellow someone else would beat him to it. So what? Has my husband left me for a man named Ace, and if so, why do I get the feeling his disappearance was financially driven, somehow. We live comfortably, I thought.” – Hates the Ace