The Bull Horn: Rants, Confessions, and Missed Connections

Submit Bull Horn

MayDay 2-4

“I heard you, one tent over, with your sloppy kisses and more. She wasn’t your girlfriend. I hope she slaps that ugly goatee right off your face when she finds out!” – Quiet Sleeper

Cheek to Cheek

You made me swoon when you crooned Frankie to me when we first met.
I need a little courage right now, and probably encouragement too.” – Heart in Hand

wtf single moms?

ok, first off why do you immediately have to change into pj’s the first second you are through the door? I know they are comfy, but it makes me feel like I might as well be dating some skeet in Wal-Mart. you should stay sexy until after sex.

secondly, I’m a dad. when you date me for a year and I’ve looked after your 3 kids countless times, while having my son around a handful of times, I’ve fed you and your family, shoveled your driveway thru all those storms, basically came in to make your life easier because I love you so much … why do you have to say it won’t work because I have a child? you have 3!!!! it’s not easy putting up with them either, but I like to think worth it!” – DILF

Crappy Bands

“I wish places like The Ship and The Levee would start getting really picky about who can play there. DOn’t get me wrong, there’s SOOO many amazing bands in town right now. But so many shitty ones too.  I don’t mean ‘i don’t like them,’ I mean, they’re just not musically good. I’d love it if I didn’t have to check The Overcast’s event listings. If I could just go to my favourite bars at 12 and know a good band is playing.” – RockBitch

I want to judge you, but.

“A red civic-looking car,
tried pulling into a spot downtown, hit a black truck, and took off.
I was thinking, ‘What a Bitch!’
But I wonder what I’d do. Maybe I’d take off too.” – ANON

Sixty Grand Later!

“So, the dumbass roundabout on old Topsail Road.
it’s the stupidest, most unexplainable use of tax-paying money.
In 2012, they spent sixty grand on putting it there, and now they’re
going to just tear it up because it was a decidely dumb idea?
Is there any better proof of how dumb and incompetent
our “leaders” are? How did this thing get approved, anyway?
Is this why meter rates are so expensive downtown now?
To cover the cost of stupid city council decisions?” – Tax Payin’ Madwoman

I Saw You …

“In yoga.
So afraid everyone would be judging you.
Panicked like a cat in a carrier.
I just wanted to hit a pause button, go over, calm you.” – Yogi_212

Oh, no, I Couldn’t GO.

“I just turned down a better job. Because I’m in love with my co-worker, and can’t imagine not spending all that time around him. He’s engaged. The job paid more, and would’ve been a significant career advancement.” – Fool in Love

You people! You … people!

“I’m in town from Calgary! Thanks, The Outcast, for the lovely event listings, we found your webpage the day I landed! Jerry’d Alive was outrageously funny, I didn’t know if I should gasp or laugh. Anyway, my husband and I asked a server how long a walk Cape Spear was … and she not only gently explained that we were naive and dumb (a two hour walk!), she said, “But that’s nothing, stick around for 20 minutes and my co-worker, who lives in Pretty Harbour (Spelling?) will drive you out there on his way home! Which we did, and it was gorgeous. And she was so worried about how we were going to get back “into town.” What an ocean you have here, and what a kindness of spirit in wanting to share it all with the world!” – From Calgary with Love

Top 3 Local Sweater Classics

“1.) Thom C—–e’s legit cosby sweaters, especially the one he wore Friday night.
2.) Steve M——y’s Oversized sweater. Which he was wearing Friday night.
3.) Chad P—-y’s bright blue sweater. Which he was wearing Friday night.” -WouldSpoon