The Bull Horn: Rants, Confessions, and Missed Connections

Submit Bull Horn

Meet Me DT

julia: “I have a crush on someone 10 yrs older than me. wish i could tell how he feels in return. txt me tell me lets meet up again.”

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Nice View

Gawker: “Blonde Hair, Red dress and lipstick. Reading a book alone in the grass downtown, like the THAT girl in every movie who every guy hopes to meet. Only, in the movies, the guy makes a move, doesn’t he?”

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To be honest

Coffee SponnZ: “Confessions? I put 4 big spoons of sugar in my morning coffee and don’t care as much about my teeth and hips as I do about my morning coffee. I lost my virginity during a game of seven minutes in heaven, and later found out all my girlfriends only gave the guy a kiss, if that. I am the annoying bicyclist on the roads you hate, pretending my bike’s a car, and my hand an indicator, and I don’t care if you run me down, because I could use the payout from a lawsuit.”

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To the landlords who live upstairs

AKLG: “You seem to need a reminder that you are in fact landlords, which means that you are expected to provide a quiet, secure space in which to live, and that you will behave in a mature and responsible manner. That does not mean throwing a party for which you hired a band with amplifiers and microphones – stationed directly above my bedroom, no less – and which continued until 3am. The fact that it was Saturday night, your birthday (seriously, 23 is not that important), or that you invited me (even though I have no interest in socializing with you) does not make it acceptable. Your sense of entitlement is preposterous. You know the rules, but intentionally break them anyway and seem to think that coming downstairs “just to talk” to me about it will somehow make your behaviour alright. Grow up, already.”

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What Are you Doin, b’y!

CABBIE: “Guys, I drive a cab. Please stop charging into the street kicking your legs and flailing your arms to get my attention! It’s frightening. A simple wave will do the trick. Worrying I’m going to run you down or you’re going to come pounding on the car is hard on me nerves!”

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I Think I Like You

Small Spoon: “So you got a gf who travels a lot, isn’t around much. You say you like it that way. Guess what baby, I like it too.”

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Heard, Said!

“I just discovered the band Hear/Say from your feature on them! HOLY EFFING DANCE PARTY! Where have these guys been my whole life, and when’s their next show? Super shout out, everybody, here, look: http://hearsaynl.bandcamp.com/album/make-a-friend-ep” – Big Fan

Boing Boing Boing!

“Yeah, here’s a confession. The reason I’ve made myself available to babysit the neighbour’s kid anytime is because I’m still obsessed with a game of hopscotch. But, I’m 29. Who else would play with me? And she’s reminding me of other cool stuff I’d forgotten about. Like those fortunate telling notes, and, we’re talking lemonade stand, come June. I didn’t realize how much I missed my childhood.” – Hopscotcher_82

A Future Hello

“Green-eyed princess of Duckworth, with your ratty red purse and wild dresses, always in a rush and frantic looking. Been months now, I’ve been wanting to know more about you. Expect a hello next time we cross paths. I’ve mustered the courage. I hope this leads somewhere and you don’t just breeze past me, eyebrows raised and annoyed!” – LeatherJacketGuy

I Saw You …

A hot hot young woman, jamming her armpits, very blatantly, into a very attractive man’s nose, like, ” Do I Stink? I can’t tell, get in here and let me know”  He shook his head to clear you, NO! There’s no better definition of love. I hope you were a couple and I hope you’so in love.” G-Town OnLooker