“Can I get my money back? That was *dreadful.* What a complete travesty. I went last year and I think I enjoyed myself. I can’t be sure though, last night was so stultifying that I may not have a functional memory.” – Babe
Your eyes in your coffee like it was trying to read our fortune.
She dumped you in a cafe, not loudly or obnoxiously,
but not quietly or with grace.
And I wanted to take her place.
Share the rest of your sandwich.
Introduce myself.” – B.
“When you said you weren’t coming back, I had to bite my tongue to stop from speaking my heart. You said I wasn’t there for you, that I wasn’t in tune with what you were feeling.Maybe if you wanted white bread, you should have asked for it initially? Or when I set the food on your table? Or one of the other dozen times I was within ten feet of you? I guess I took it for granted you would ask for what you wanted, rather than just ream me out over it once you’d eaten everything but the bread. Please just promise me that you’ll be true to your word. Don’t ever come back. Your husband can though, he was cool.” – Unspoken Server Rage, Esquire
“He might not be a mayor for the history books, but I do confess a crush a mayor O’Keefe. He’s like the friendly grandpa you can’t help forgive. There, I said it.” – D.
“Just got back from a walk with my friend. I wish I had my camera, we have got to be the dirtiest city in North America. On Guy Street and Whiteway Street, the garbage was unreal. I can’t believe people are allowed to get away with this. The only blessing was as you got farther away from the University and over towards Carpasian Road, it got CLEANER. Why can’t homeowners pick up the garbage surrounding their properties and while they are at it, TAKE DOWN YOUR CHRISTMAS DECORATIONS.” – Anna
“A PRISONER OF YOUR LOVE, ENTANGLED IN YOUR WEB
HOT WHISPERS IN THE NIGHT
I`M CAPTURED BY YOUR SPELL CAPTURED
OH YES IM TOUCHED BY THIS SHOW OF EMOTION
SHOULD I BE FRACTURED BY YOUR LACK OF DEVOTION
SHOULD I, SHOULD I?
OH YOU BETTER BE GOOD TO ME
THATS HOW ITS GOT TO BE NOW
CAUSE I DON`T HAVE NO USE
FOR WHAT YOU LOOSELY CALL THE TRUTH
OH YOU BETTER BE GOOD TO ME
YES YOU BETTER BE GOOD TO ME.” – Not Tina
“I am a delivery driver. You could NOT understand how much it makes my job hell when I can’t get into a loading zone because you’ve parked in a loading zone and gone to eat lunch! Please. Don’t do this! Loading zones are meant for delivery drivers to pull in, deliver, and get out for the next delivery driver, who is often right there and waiting! I got a $50 ticket today for parking in a no parking zone because impatient heartless fools are parking in loading zone spots to go have their lattes and lunches. These loading zones are few and far between and strategically placed. STAY OUT OF THEM” – ARG!
“Lawnya Vawnya was amazing again this year, but that Jon Hynes show at The Rocket Room was extra dreamy. Cannot WAIT for the album, Jon!” – Anon
“Roommate 1, start doing your dishes. See all those piling up in the sink? Yours. All the clean ones in the rack? Mine. No more taking turns. How do you make so many anyway?” – Roomate 2
“You sat two rows in front of me at the Steve Maloney show. He wasn’t the only dreamboat I was watching that night, Mr. Blue Sweater. I followed you to the next bar but never took on enough liquid courage to make an impression …” – B.