The Bull Horn: Your Rants, Confessions, Burning Questions

Submit Bull Horn

I Saw You …

A hot hot young woman, jamming her armpits, very blatantly, into a very attractive man’s nose, like, ” Do I Stink? I can’t tell, get in here and let me know”  He shook his head to clear you, NO! There’s no better definition of love. I hope you were a couple and I hope you’so in love.” G-Town OnLooker

Gettin’ Ready

When I’m getting ready to go out for the night, and I think I have found the right outfit,
my test is to get in front of a mirror and sing along to whatever song is on, playing air guitar.
When I think I have it, I throw in a little Joey-style ‘ How you doin?'”
Thank God I don’t have a roommate, How would I explain this?” – Hot2Trot

I Saw You …

“In Atlantic Place. Failing badly with the chopsticks. Struggling hard with the crossword. Winning bigly with my heart.” – NoName

Red Clock Ticking

“Two ice cubes, in glass of whisky, doing what they can to stay whole,
an hour after you abandoned them. Done for the night with drinking.
The loudest sound, a red clock ticking like a friend uttering, “Make a move.”
Two guys snoring like it’s a competition,
or a song their lungs are jamming to.
No sound from the quiet tent out back;
It’s a four-man tent housing six,
like a bloated croc’s stomach.
And you there. In the bedroom alone.
In that awkwardly fitting  red shirt you were tugging all night,
like you couldn’t wait to get it off for something more comfortable.
And it got my mind thinking.
of you there, in a room alone, with that shirt gone.
The clock still ticking, like, “Make a move.” – Charles Bu-Lameski.

MayDay 2-4

“I heard you, one tent over, with your sloppy kisses and more. She wasn’t your girlfriend. I hope she slaps that ugly goatee right off your face when she finds out!” – Quiet Sleeper

Cheek to Cheek

You made me swoon when you crooned Frankie to me when we first met.
I need a little courage right now, and probably encouragement too.” – Heart in Hand

wtf single moms?

ok, first off why do you immediately have to change into pj’s the first second you are through the door? I know they are comfy, but it makes me feel like I might as well be dating some skeet in Wal-Mart. you should stay sexy until after sex.

secondly, I’m a dad. when you date me for a year and I’ve looked after your 3 kids countless times, while having my son around a handful of times, I’ve fed you and your family, shoveled your driveway thru all those storms, basically came in to make your life easier because I love you so much … why do you have to say it won’t work because I have a child? you have 3!!!! it’s not easy putting up with them either, but I like to think worth it!” – DILF

Crappy Bands

“I wish places like The Ship and The Levee would start getting really picky about who can play there. DOn’t get me wrong, there’s SOOO many amazing bands in town right now. But so many shitty ones too.  I don’t mean ‘i don’t like them,’ I mean, they’re just not musically good. I’d love it if I didn’t have to check The Overcast’s event listings. If I could just go to my favourite bars at 12 and know a good band is playing.” – RockBitch

I want to judge you, but.

“A red civic-looking car,
tried pulling into a spot downtown, hit a black truck, and took off.
I was thinking, ‘What a Bitch!’
But I wonder what I’d do. Maybe I’d take off too.” – ANON

Sixty Grand Later!

“So, the dumbass roundabout on old Topsail Road.
it’s the stupidest, most unexplainable use of tax-paying money.
In 2012, they spent sixty grand on putting it there, and now they’re
going to just tear it up because it was a decidely dumb idea?
Is there any better proof of how dumb and incompetent
our “leaders” are? How did this thing get approved, anyway?
Is this why meter rates are so expensive downtown now?
To cover the cost of stupid city council decisions?” – Tax Payin’ Madwoman