Bay of Exploits: Universal Notes On The Film’s Rough Cut

This line was funnier on the page.
  • This musical score is temporary, right?

 

  • Are we sure we can’t afford the rights to that hit song from the film’s period? The scene was written with the hit song in mind, and it would work really well here.

 

  • X tells Y he/she is going to do that thing, and then we immediately see him/her do it. Shouldn’t we instead cut straight to X doing it?

 

  • There was such terrific chemistry between X and Y on set, why am not seeing it? Are there better takes?

 

  • I’m sure there are better takes of the stunt.

 

  • Is he kind of old for her?

 

  • The improvised bit here is entertaining but it has nothing to do with the movie so should be cut.

 

  • This line was funnier on the page.

 

  • X takes a dramatic pause in his search the moment before she/he finds what she/he was looking for, which suggests she/he knew where it was all along.

 

  • The kid is terrible/is better than any of the seasoned actors.

 

  • There’s going to be CGI there, right? It won’t look like that in the release?

 

  • What’s up with the sunglasses? It’s like I’m watching an episode of “Kabuki Vice.” Why are the characters continually taking them off and putting them back on? Or sliding them down their nose to look over them? I wish directors wouldn’t let actors have sunglasses.

 

  • Can we lose the scene where X is looking at him/herself in the mirror being “self-reflective.” It’s mugging, no?

 

  • That isn’t dialogue; it’s duelling speeches. Trim them.

 

  • The thing which took so much time and money to make still looks fake and I realize now that we don’t need it anyway.

 

  • With what sort of accent is X speaking? It seems to drift from the German-Polish border to the Balkans. And isn’t Y supposed to be Danish, would he/she say “Guv’nor!” or “Cor Blimey!” like that?  Were those lines in the script?  I wish directors wouldn’t let actors do accents.

 

  • I wonder about certain period details. I don’t believe they had those things back then, and even if they did, it feels like they shouldn’t have.

 

  • By this point in the story, they are either f***ing or aren’t ever going to, so people are going to stop caring.

 

  • Cut the improvised stuff here.

 

  • Should we call it a “dramedy”?

 

  • Why did we agree to that wig? I wish directors wouldn’t let actors pick their wigs.

 

  • There’s a Canada Post super mailbox visible in b.g.

 

  • How did drone photography become so boring so quickly?

 

  • Is it long? It feels long.

 

  • It has three endings. I think it’s over when X dies and Y rides/drives/flies/teleports away.

 

  • So many of these problems would have been evident in a table read. Remind me why didn’t we have a table read of earlier drafts of the screenplay?

 

  • Can we somehow raise the dramatic stakes?

 

  • I’ve grown to hate the title, hasn’t anyone come up with something better?

 

  • Maybe we go back to the idea of telling the story in a linear, chronological fashion.

 

  • I like the title sequence and the second unit stuff, but I have problems with the rest.
Written By
More from Ed Riche

A Call for Statutory Snow Week

A week off in the depths of our harsh winter recognizes our...
Read More

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.