Ask Jack and Jill: November I of II

Every second Tuesday, two local sex and relationship experts answer your bottled up, anonymous questions.

Ask jack and Jill

Ask Jack:

“Jack” is sitting this round out …

Ask Jill:

“I live downtown, in an old house with paper thin walls. I have the best roommate ever who is super cool and understanding, but I feel so terrible knowing that my romp escapades can definitely be heard by him VERY clearly. I know that’s part of communal living at times, but what do you recommend to help with the noise? My last lover actually teased me about whispering! Besides music or trying to stay up until my roomie’s asleep, any tips? Thanks!” – Close Quarters Roomie 

Ah! So tough!

Sex noises definitely come with the territory when it comes to living with/being a roommate. That being said, it’s important to be very respectful of the people you share a home with. There are certain rules that you need to follow; wash your dishes, don’t drink someone else’s milk, do your share of the chores and unfortunately, keep it down when it comes to sex. Most people masturbate and do so very quietly. It’s usually only with a partner that we tend to turn up the volume. Learning to have sex quietly while your roommate is home is going to take some practice.  If you’re not up for honing your super quiet sexy time skills here are a few things that you can try:

  1. If you’re going to have sex, have it on the floor. Boxsprings and bed frames squeak. Headboards bang annoyingly off the walls. Pull your mattress down or grab some blankets and pillows and get comfy.
  2. Music or TV can definitely drown out your screams of passion, but don’t turn it up too loud! You don’t want to be that kind of roommate either.
  3. Alternate houses. Don’t have noisy sex seven days a week at your place. Have sex at your partner’s house too or rent a hotel room and be as noisy as you want every now and then.
  4. Plan sex for times when you’re home alone. Take advantage of the times when your roommate is at work or school.
  5. Be respectful and keep it down after midnight if your roommate has a job or a class he has to be at early in the morning.
  6. Apologize profusely if you do have noisy sex when he’s at home. Let him know that you don’t want to annoy him but if it does happen, let him know that he can tell you and you’ll understand.

Most roommates understand that sex happens and are probably happy that you’re having it! Hope this helps!

“Hey Jill, My girlfriend and I recently introduced my guy friend to her close girlfriend. The guy and girl hit it off quite well. When I asked my girlfriend how the new pair were doing – she starts off my saying how big he is and some other obscene comments. I found this quite offensive and now I feel uncomfortable around them all. I know girls talk, but I’m having trouble getting past this one – I wish my girlfriend would of just kept this to herself. How would you react?” – Too Much Information

I’ve heard my share of things that I have not been able to un-hear as well. Some people just tend to overshare and I’m not sure why that is. I think, perhaps, we all do it at some point. Of course, it can be irritating and hard to deal with, and I get where you are coming from. Absolutely.

I think you should casually mention to your girlfriend that you’re not really into hearing about the size of your friend’s dick and lightheartedly suggest that she keep those things to herself. You don’t have to make it sound harsh, as I am sure she had no idea that you would take offense to it, but if you feel strongly about it, definitely have a discussion with her.

As for how I would react? Hrmm…sometimes I welcome a little gossip and other times I’d rather poke my own eyes out than listen to it. I do, however, think that if my partner passed along some weird tidbit of information about one of my friends’ genitals, I’d probably ask him to keep that to himself.  Good luck!

Every second Tuesday, two local sex and relationship experts answer your bottled up, anonymous questions. Use the anonymous form below to ask yours.

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